The 90 Day Program in detail
This intensive 90-day is designed to rebuild connection and trust fast and lasting.
Structure:
Weekly sessions: 2 individual sessions (one for each partner) + 1 joint session for 12 weeks.
Week 13 - 16 Joint session per week to wrap up and consolidate.
Daily support: 15–20 minute support calls available every business day.
Aftercare: 2 “tune-up” sessions about a month apart after completion.
Why 12+ 4 - approx 90 Days?
Research and 30+ years of experience show 90 days is the ideal timeframe to focus, rebuild, and create lasting change. Longer programs (120–180 days) often lose momentum, while 90 days feels achievable — like a focused sprint, not a marathon.
Results:
Frequent contact builds steady progress, renewed respect, and genuine reconnection. If extra support is needed afterward, extensions of 30 or 60 days are available.
Why so many sessions weekly?
Well, 3 days out of 7 each week does not leave much time for each spouse to take their eye off the game and get into too much of a downward spiral.
Of course flare ups occur in the early weeks then gradually decrease as new ways of interacting are put into action. Because they meet you meet with me not long after a flare up, hurts don’t fester, each spouse can vent separately to me, they’re more likely to admit their part in it and accept guidance on how to do better if it occurs again.
Modifying with a goodwill attitude is front of mind and stays front of mind. It’s similar to the Personal Trainer for fitness – instead the PT for couples.
Why Individual and Joint sessions?
Many traditional therapists will hold a strong opposing view on my approach here. This is because for so long the view has been that both spouses must know everything that is shared with the therapist.
Hence my position here may cause some resistance. The reality is that each spouse has vulnerabilities and emotional hurts often from way before their current marriage, fragility they don’t want to lay out in a joint session. They may even dread revealing these to their spouse hence they don’t. Then things get stuck.
This may not be due to only fragility but also to personal dignity, sense of self and even to difficulty finding words when feeling under threat.
When couples are in a very high angst hurting space any of these can be misinterpreted and misunderstood. The individual sessions are simply the best to facilitate each spouse acquiring new responsiveness personalized for their attachment style, their personality, their life experiences and their tolerance threshold.
The weekly joint sessions tie together the guidance from each spouse’s individual session and aligns them from a more balanced emotional place instead of having to repeatedly manage reactivity in these sessions. Instead joint sessions forge unified bonding which rebuilds reassurance and trust.